Thursday, July 5, 2007

I am Still Here

I am so behind on my postings. Things have been going well. I hit my 10% and also my 25 lb WW loss. That is exciting news.

So, why am I still a little frustrated? Well, I am still wearing the same size pants as I did over 30 lbs ago. I can't believe that they were that tight then. But, I also can't believe that they are not too loose now. Not that I want to spend more money than I neeed to on "in between" clothes... Well, actually I do have a lot of "in between" size clothes already. The next size just doesn't fit. : It's just frustrating because I would think that my scale victories would lead to smaller sizes. I must admit, it is a downer.

On a good note, another person at work today looked at me and said - "wow you are just disappearing more and more everytime I see you". That made me feel good.

I will try to post more - and a progression chart.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

On I Go

I lost 2.8 this week. I have almost hit my 10 lb loss since my first WW weigh in (9.6).

I am really trying this eating every 2 hours, but not after 7:30 pm trick. I am having a hard time getting in my veggie servings because my freezer keeps giving all my frozen vegetables freezer burn (I usually eat frozen veggies). But I have been close to the daily servings.

I am also not living up to my journaling goal. I have continued to do it all in my head... I need to work on that.

The cicadas are back!! I saw them on my walk Thursday. They won't too much of a bother.

Friday, May 25, 2007


That's what I get for weighing myself daily. I got my hopes up for going down and then the numbers bumped back up a little. Well...I guess that's normal. But, it stinks.

So, I went out for dinner last night and politely ask the server to please hold oil and butter. When I get my order, it's as shiny as can be. A sheen that food only gets from - you guessed it - butter or oil. Now, I know this dish because I order it frequently. I have had it without the butter and oil. While it's a little dry, I prefer it because I feel like I have control over what points I am taking in. I understand I need some "good" oil, but I don't know how much they use. Anyway, of course I didn't send it back (too scared about ticking off someone handling my food). But, I was disappointed. After the numbers going up a little today I couldn't help to wonder...

Moving on, does anyone else find that they are cold when they drink a lot of water? I actually prefer mine room temperature, but I feel like my body temp goes down when I drink a ton of water. Just curious as to if anyone else has noticed a connection.

Still looking forward to weight tomorrow...

Thursday, May 24, 2007


I have been a little worried about the pace at which I have been seeing the numbers go down on the scale. It seemed slow to me. So, I kicked up the exercise. I am finding that two times a day works for me. Midday walks teamed with my evening walks has lead to I believe what will be my biggest loss this time around. I am happy. : )

I am actually excited for weigh in. I have hit the 180s and weigh in is still a couple of days away. Woohoo!!

I have had to utilize that will power of mine as well. Everyone has their food weakness (I have several). But, found one the most agonizing. Potato Bar. Potato Skins with cheese, bacon, sour cream, chives, big steak fries, butter, ranch dressing and more... You get the picture. It may not be what gets you going, but for me - it was torture! It was out for lunch and then lo and behold, again out for breakfast (what?) the next morning by my trusty oatmeal. Those monsters! Anyway, I resisted and hopefully the cafe at my work will keep them out of rotation for a while.

Yours in losing...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

"I can fit my arms around you now"

I had a classic moment this morning. My 6 year old son wrapped his arms around me to hug me and said "I can fit my arms all the way around you now!". I have a huge smile on my face just thinking about it. Besides the fact that he is absolutely sweet and adorable and I love his hugs...his arms are pretty short! If he says he couldn't before and now he can - that is a total NSV! I need that measuring tape.

By the way, that is one of my biggest regrets from when I hit goal - I never took measurements. I wish that was actually worked into the plan along with weigh ins.

This is a short one - but I needed to claim that victory!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Lengthy First Introduction

So, I am back on Weight Watchers (WW) for the 5th time. I am determined that the 5th time is the final restart and that I continue with the plan for life. I know the plan has worked for me. I don't want t temporary solution or fad diet. I want something that I can live with. I love the accountability and I love the support network.

I am short - 5'1". At my height, there is no hiding extra weight. I need to embrace that fact and move on. I have never been the type of person who could eat what they wanted (or what my peers ate) without gaining weight - not even as a child. I know many people who have "worse" eating habits than I do who don't gain the weight. That's not me and I also need to accept that. I am impatient. I like my instant gratification. I don't mind working hard (quite hard) for something I want. But, I like to see the output. I need to be more patient with this process.

Some history about my prior experiences with WW:

In 2000:

I just had my son and knew I needed to lose weight. My friend was on WW so I decided to go with her to the meeting. I weighed in at 180 lbs (far above my comfort zone), got the materials and went on my way. I was not incredibly motivated at the time. I joined with people who I didn't think needed to lose weight in the first place and I wasn't quite sure how it would work for me. Plus, since I just had a baby, wasn't I going to drop the weight on my own? Wrong! I think I journaled for one day and realized how many points a club sandwich was. I felt like I couldn't be bothered by counting and journaling - so I never went back. I decided instead to join a health club and exercise it off. The funny thing is, the exercise alone didn't work and my eating habits never changed.

In 2003:

I hit a wall. I was just over 200 lbs, which was devastating. My "new baby" was 2 and I saw a picture of myself that was beyond unflattering - and worse, a true snapshot of what I had become. My perfect friend asked me to be in her wedding (which in my mind equated ordering a dress of which she may learn my size and large group of other friends passing judgement on how I let myself go). I remember the moment of clarity as if it were yesterday. I had just ordered a meatball sandwich from the local pizza parlor and when it came I threw it away - opting for a workout video instead. I started eating healthy and exercising. But I had no real direction. I had recently seen some friends and family who lost a significant amount of weight. They all found success with WW. I figured that I would give it another try. I talked my mom into joining with me which was a great decision to buddy up with someone I felt very comfortable with.

I joined a local meeting and loved the leader. She was funny and inspiring. What's more, I was successful. I followed the flex plan (when I started that was the only plan). I was walking at lunch and exercising at night. I was determined. The weight seemed to melt away. I was losing a good amount each week. It seemed too good to be true. It was not difficult to follow and I reached my goal in about 6 months. I also went past that goal to lose another 20 pounds. I was the picture of success... However, maintenance was another story. Apparently I like the challenge of losing and seeing the numbers go down. The numbers couldn't go down anymore. There was a pressure to keep the loss and for some reason I was hungrier than ever. I started with gummy savers, then trail mix and soon enough - made more exceptions. I stopped journaling and stopped attending meetings. I also stopped exercising. Needless to say - it all came back. I vowed to never let that happen - why oh why did I undo all of the work? I fell off the wagon big time and waved as it fleeted away.

In 2005:

It's sad being a former success story. I had become what I had feared - the "she'll gain it all back" diet failure. I ballooned back up to just above 200 lbs - again. By the way, what's with hovering around that same number each time I gain? Is that what my fat self likes to settle at? Or do I just get to that threshold and decide to diet? My mother experiences the same thing. We tend to lose together and gain together. We don't live or eat together so it's odd. We both settle at our same top weights, respectively.

I decided to give it another try. I was determined, again, because I wanted to be proud of myself again. My kids didn't even remember the "thin" me. I wanted to make them proud. I returned to WW and felt much more comfortable following flex than alternating with core. I liked the idea of core foods and firmly believe that flex is not a license to mindlessly indulge. In fact, I would much rather have more healthy food than less junk food. But, I feel much safer with flex and heck - it worked last time.

I dropped aroud 50 lbs. I was getting compliments again and then... I stopped. Again - why oh why? I hadn't even reached goal this time! I had little excuses, like the guy with the road rage in he parking lot of the meeting building - but really, I gave up on myself.

In 2006:

This one is hardly worth mentioning. I think I lasted a week... I had no true motivation.

In 2007:

Here I was, back at 206 lbs. Enough already! I avoid social functions, I sit out on activities that I would normally enjoy, I dread vacations... I am so disgusted with myself because I have not only gained but I have let myself go. I don't look in the mirror, I hate shopping for clothes, I don't style my hair or put on make up anymore. I am not representing myself well and I am through.

So here is a breakdown of my final restart -

April 18 - Started on plan again

April 28 - Attended first meeting

May 5 - Attended second meeting

May 12 - Attended third meeting

May 19 - Attended fourth meeting...and I am off...

I am down about 12 lbs total from when I started on again. But, in since my first WW weigh in, I am down 6.4 lbs. I know that I shouldn't complain and I know that any loss at all should be celebrated. But, my losses since my initial weigh in a low compared to my other WW experiences. I am 31 now - is that truly the start of the metabolic demise? Anyway, I won't be defeated and I will continue on. Even though the scale is not going down as much as I'd like, I have some NSVs. I just need a measuring tape to confirm! I can tell that I am losing inches. : )

One thing that I wish I were better with is journaling. For some reason this time I stick to calculating points in my head, which may be part of the problem. My goal is to journal more. It's a solid goal.